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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115437">mutiny</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustpilot/pseuds/stardustpilot'>stardustpilot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Villains, because what else would i write about :P, broken minds, don't do murder, immediately following legacy canon, kotlc - Freeform, murder is bad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 07:43:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustpilot/pseuds/stardustpilot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>because what else do you say when you've killed someone's mother? (definitely not "i love you.")</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keefe Sencen/Tam Song</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>mutiny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*cackles* this is what happens when a fix-it fic goes wrong</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His hands were shaking. </p><p>Tam stood there, staring at Lady Gisela’s body with blank eyes, replaying the very terrible thing that he just did. </p><p>The way her body crumpled to the ground, he didn’t—-</p><p>He didn’t mean it. </p><p>Did he? </p><p>No. </p><p>No, of course not. But… </p><p>He was afraid. </p><p>Of himself. Of what he could do. Of what his power had enabled him to do. </p><p>He’d just killed her. </p><p>And now he was standing here, shaking. </p><p>Then a voice came, and the darkness scurried away. Or at least he thought it did, even if just for a second. </p><p>“Tam!” </p><p>A strong pair of arms wrapped around his body, and Tam sagged with relief before it all came rushing back and he nudged Keefe away. </p><p>“I didn't mean it,” he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes. He wiped them away furiously. He couldn’t even look at Keefe. He didn’t deserve to cry.</p><p>“It’s okay,” he said, taking a step closer. “It’s okay. I should be thanking you.” </p><p>Tam shook his head fiercely, backing up. “No. Stop.” His head felt like it was cracking to pieces. “I’m a monster.” He buried his head in his hands. <em> “Christ </em>, what have I done?” </p><p>“Tam!” Keefe said again, but his voice was wavery, like they were underwater. </p><p>Tam felt like he was underwater. </p><p>If he just closed his eyes, maybe the water would carry him away, away to a place where no one would know that he’d just killed someone, no one would know that he was crying now, after killing someone. </p><p>He was a terrible person. A terrible, evil person. A coward. What separated him from the Neverseen now? What made him any different from them? They were murderers. And now, he was just like them. </p><p>His head felt like it was going to crack in half. </p><p>But he knew that before went under, there was something he wanted to say first. </p><p>He glanced up, meeting Keefe’s eyes. </p><p>It was like a stab to the gut, to see his brows crinkled in worry, his mouth curled in a frown, his eyes wide and concerned. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Tam said, his eyes dropping to Keefe’s lips. “And I know sorry isn’t going to fix it, and I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me. I’ll never forgive myself. But…” </p><p>But what? </p><p>What else could someone possibly say after killing their friends’ mother? Sorry was nothing but an empty word said with obligation. </p><p>Tam wanted to….to… </p><p>“I…” </p><p>He swayed a little. His eyes shot back up to Keefe’s. “I really…” </p><p>The words just wouldn’t come out. </p><p>He made a frustrated noise, and Keefe stared at him in confusion. Stared at him like he was an animal lost in the wild, and Keefe was a zoogoer, watching amusedly as Tam stumbled. </p><p>Tam closed his mouth. This could wait for another time. </p><p>He swayed even more, and Keefe grabbed his wrists to steady him. </p><p>His hands were warm, and Tam was freezing. </p><p>“I need to get you to Elwin,” Keefe said, pulling him closer. “Come here.” </p><p>Tam shook his head. </p><p>He already knew what was happening. </p><p>“It’s too late,” he mumbled. He let Keefe pull him closer so that he could carry him to Elwin. But Tam already knew. He touched Keefe’s cheek with a freezing finger and smiled as he flinched. </p><p>“It’s always too late.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading. feel free to leave a comment if you so please! i respond to every comment.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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